10 Reasons Justin Bieber’s Mom Is Better Than Yours

by: on | in Celebrities | 45 Comments

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Who’s the luckiest girl in the world who gets to hang out with Justin Bieber every single day? Nope, not Selena Gomez. We’re talking about Pattie Mallette, Biebs’ mom, who also happens to be one of the coolest (not to mention richest?) mommies in the world.

Is it wrong to compare our moms and yours to Justin Bieber’s? Probably. But we did it anyway, complete with pics that will make you jealous with envy that your mom’s not Pattie. Or, uh, that your son’s not Justin Bieber…

MORE: Why is Justin Bieber a Mama’s Boy?

1. She’s got famous friends. Pattie gets to chill on the daily with Selena and Usher and ANNA FREAKIN’ WINTOUR, whereas most moms don’t even know who the heck those peeps are.

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2. She’s the richest teen mom ever. We bet Pattie’s one of the only peeps to get pregnant at 18 and notregret keeping the baby. Just sayin’.


3. She’s the richest mom period. Her kid’s worth $50 million and counting, which basc means one day Pattie will be in the mansion of nursing homes, while your old ‘rents will be rotting away in the basement of your future house. Sorry. It’s true.

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4. She’s a MILF. Come on. Look at her. Look at Justin. Those genes didn’t come outta nowhere.

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5. She always has a hot date. Pattie’s single (and ready to mingle?), but no matter where she goes, she always has the hottest date ANYWHERE, Justin Bieber. We bet your single mom can’t even get a hookup off of OkCupid.

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6. She sits front row at every Justin Bieber concert ever. But by the time your mom gets to TicketMaster.com, even the nose-bleed seats are all sold out. Are we right or are we right?

7. Justin’s a Mama’s Boy. He called her to ask permish for a Selena sleepover, he brought her on-stage at his concert to wish her a happy birthday. Yeah. Justin Bieber makes every son in the world EVER look incompetent.

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8. She flies first class private all over the world — natch! Her frequent flyer card is platinum and your mom’s lucky if she gets one weekend away from her hometown all year.

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9. She gets to make up fake names… for Justin to check in at hotels under. For real. How freakin’ clever that she was the one that thought of Biebs’ undercover names, Shawty Mane… and Chandler Bing!
10. She’s going to have the cutest grandkids ever. Jelena babies? OH YEAH, we’re dying of cuteness just thinking about it.

Never Say Never

But in all seriousness, we know your mom’s awesome too. Think Pattie is the best/luckiest/coolest mom ever? What do you love about your own mom? Leave your thoughts in the comments!

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  • Julio Alacarte

    My mom is much better.
    She raised two functional kids in a stable family. I had a mother and a father through my entire childhood and with them I learned respect and reason. We all know the notion of limits and respect to everybody else’s rights.
    Justin Bieber’s raising on the other hand was dreadful and we can tell that just observing what kind of person he turned into.

  • zach

    Whoever wrote this article obviously masturbates to millions of pictures of Justin Bieber and his mom. Quit drooling over him. You are pathetic and should quit your job as a writer. You suck. justin bieber sucks. His music sucks.

  • Diane

    This article is ridiculous. Was it supposed to be clever?

  • Corrie Nicholson

    Fk you all & the article

  • Marley Nieves

    Ugh. This is article and these comments are stupid. Every mother is amazing. In fact every woman is amazing.