Oh, celebs: They’re just like us… minus the insane budgets, the paparazzi, and duh, the negative press! So once we heard that Lindsay Lohan had put herself on house arrest, that got us thinking: Hey, we could think of a few celebs who should take note, too.
So move over, Linds, because we’re totally throwing the book at…
The Crime: iPhone Theft/Destruction
Really, Rusty? Stealing and trashing a fan’s iPhone as an homage to Steve Jobs? (Now what would Hobson think?)
The Sentence: Sitting at home à la Arthur while being mentored by Dame Helen Mirren to actually help you grow up a bit.
The Crime: Guest Artist-ing
Chris, whose album aren’t you on these days? (Although we’re not gonna lie, the Rihanna collabo was a gossipfest!)
The Sentence: Two solo albums without any guest artists — the equivalent of 5-to-life in hip-hop years.
The Crime: Quickie Marriage Syndrome
Not all marriages work out, Kim, but 72 days? I’ve had disposable razors last longer than your nuptials.
The Sentence: A two-year minimum monogamous relationship, minimum one-year engagement. Your move, heartbreaker.
The Crime: Speed Racing
He’s all grown up with his Bieber-mobile, but Justin just can’t seem to keep it under the speed limit.
The Sentence: Only Big Wheels, Segways and bikes for the wunderkind until he’s completed 24 hours of driving under adult supervision. (And Scooter doesn’t count, bud.)
The Crime: ANOTHER tattoo
Don’t run out of room, girl! Seriously, love the skin you’re in. (Nice detailing, though!)
The Sentence: Working the front desk at a tattoo salon to build up a natural tattoo tolerance.
The Crime: Rep-ing a movie even after it’s DVD release
Katy, we get it — you’re super proud of The Smurfs (Especially Smurfette!). But perhaps it’s time to give your roots a rest? They’ve been going true-blue since last summer!
The Sentence: One afternoon at a hair salon for a strip/recolor, followed by a 24-hour Smurfs marathon for full color emotive saturation.
So who’d we nail and who’d we miss? We may have to amend a few sentences! Make sure we’ve got your jury vote below!