The Situation is out of rehab (after “exhausting” himself) and MTV has confirmed that your fave reality cast will all return to Seaside this summer for season 6 of Jersey Shore — but what if Snooki and her meatball-to-be couldn’t make it? We’ve dusted off our crystal ball, and we’re predicting…
6. Sober Sundays
Having alcohol around a recovering addict (and a pregnant person) can’t be healthy, so we predict at least one day a week where the rest of the cast tries to abstain in solidarity. Now there will be more time to cook Sunday dinners, perhaps?
5. Group Lamaze Meetings
Hey, Snooks is going to need help during the delivery, so count on the crazy antics of the cast at these classes to prep for Mini Snooki’s arrival.
4. Karma Chameleons
Looks like late-night clubbing can’t be too constant — and we hardly expect Mike to sit at home. Expect to see more Seaside action like nights at the boardwalk, playing mini golf, or — gasp! — working overtime at the The T-Shirt Store.
3. Nap Time!
What passes the time fastest in a house with no Internet, no cell phones and no TVs? Plenty o’ naps. We’re thinking a 3 p.m. wake up time would be enough time to take care of GTL, grab a quick bite and start getting ready for the evening, right?
2. Two New Cast Members
We’re calling it now — we don’t think a single individual could handle being “the new Snooki,” so watch for MTV to cast not one but TWO outrageous personalities.
1. This Will Be… the Last Season
We’ve been there through their highs and lows, and even we can’t believe how much the cast has changed in the past few years. But all good things come to an end — and we’ll still hang in for every spinoff and reunion special, of course!
So what will and won’t be a shore thing this season of Jersey Shore? Are you going to tune even though Snooki’s knocked up and Mike’s, um, recovering?