If you attended McKinley High, you might vote Mercedes “Best Smile” or Mike Chang “Hottest Abs,” but those superlatives are over-used and we are overly used to them. Boring! Instead of trying to fit the wackiness of Glee characters into those stereotypical categories, we’ve created way-more-fun categories to fit their unique brand of crazy.
Most Likely to Win an EGOT and Kill Someone in the Process
Have you taken a look into Rachel Berry’s eyes when she starts talking about her success in the future? Get out of the way! Get out of the way! Or else she’s gonna kill you.
Best Wedding Cake Topper Look-A-Like
Even Sue agrees: Kurt Hummel has a porcelain face, a twinkle in his eyes, and a rotating collection of suits. Get up on that wedding cake, boy! You could if you wanted to.
Most Likely to Appear on the Cover of a Trashy Romance Novel
Mike Chang is an awesome dancer, but if he ever hits a spot of financial trouble, he could totally be an ab model on the cover of some rando bodice-ripper. Just look at how chiseled he is — it’s almost unreal.
Best Candidate for the Position of Blue Ivy’s Live-In Older Sister
Mercedes Jones is essentially Beyonce’s long-lost child, so she’d make the perfect choice to chill with Blue Ivy. Who needs a nanny? She’d sing that kid to sleep with some powerhouse ballads while Bey and Jay-Z are on the road.
Earliest Mid-Life Crisis Sufferer
After she popped out her baby, Quinn Fabray went all middle-aged on us. With her pink hair, skank stint, and freakout about staying in Lima for the rest of her life, she has the early onset mid-life crisis disease. Now that she’s
not entirely crazy back to normal, Quinn is in that phase when 40-year-old men return their newly-purchased Ferraris to the dealership. Sigh.
Most Likely to Freeze Ice with Her “Bitch, Please” Stare
Forget radioactive ooze or mutant spider bites, Santana Lopez already has a superhuman power: with one glare, she’ll make you stop, look at your life, and examine your choices. Then you’ll cry.
Cuddliest Teddy Bear Bad Boy
When he first showed up on the scene, Noah “Puck” Puckerman was the ultimate slushee-throwing rebel. Now this pool boy cries, talks about his feelings, and falls in luuurve. Half of his BAMF-ness is in his hair, but we love him better this way anyways.
Most Likely to Believe Clouds are Made Out of Cotton Candy
Finn Hudson thought he impregnated Quinn from, um… not having sex in a hot tub. That means he’d probably believe he could skydive and get a sugar high all in one jump, especially if his GF told him. It’s like this boy doesn’t even know that Google searches exist. Oh crap. You know what? He probably doesn’t.
Do you think these superlatives fit? What would YOU vote Glee‘s graduating seniors?