From Single to It’s Complicated: Assigning One Direction Facebook Relationship Statuses

by: on | in Celebrities | 34 Comments

Facebook relationship statuses were made for nosy people. And by “nosy people,” we mean everybody. Is there anything more universally horrifying/awesome than seeing a person go from “in a relationship” to “single,” or trying to find out what it means when your crush has nothing listed under their relationship status? So much to gossip talk about! If your newsfeed’s been stale lately, have a bit of fun with the boys you’d really stay “Up All Night” Facebook stalking—the dudes of One Direction. What do we think their relationship statuses would read if they were on our friends lists? Read on and find out!

Niall Horan: Single
Spoiler alert: it turns out that Niall is the only boy in the group we’d classify as single. If you’re looking to pounce, though, don’t get your hopes up. He’s engaged in a serious flirtation with Demi Lovato, and we’re totes rooting for Deniall (um, you heard that name here first at!), but Niall still wouldn’t list himself as anything more than single. Because even if Demi and Niall are seeing each other, they certainly haven’t reached the level of seriousness or intensity to be Facebook official. You know the drill. FB official = basically married.

Zayn Malik: In a relationship
It’s safe to say that Zayn and girlfriend Perrie Edwards have no problems going public. (Have you seen their public snog PDA pics?) On Facebook, they would be solidly in a relationship, with all the nauseatingly adorable photos to prove it. Cute or excessive? You decide.

Harry Styles: It’s Complicated
Teenage girls everywhere shed a tear upon discovering that Harry Styles likes women the way he probably likes the wine he can’t have in this country: aged. But that’s not what makes him worthy of the ultimate ambiguous relationship status—it’s his maybe-affair with a much-older, married DJ. Why’d ya have to go and make things so complicated, Harry? Call us when you change your status to “single” and don’t make us feel like singing outdated Avril Lavigne songs.

Liam Payne: In a domestic partnership
Unless he’s hiding something from us, Liam would not select the “engaged” or “married” options on his Facebook page. But since he’s living with his girlfriend Danielle Peazer and they’ve been dating forever since 2010, they deserve a FB status one up from “in a relationship.” It’s lasting love when you can see someone flossing their teeth on a daily basis and still want to date them.

Louis Tomlinson: In a civil union
Louis has a gorgeous and devoted girlfriend, who he’s been seeing since last fall, but it’s his epic bromance with Harry Styles that would actually warrant a mention on Facebook. Sorry, but that is the real thing. Eleanor Calder, we love you, but please step aside. LOUIS + HARRY 4EVA!!!

Do you agree with our breakdown of 1D’s relationship statuses? Which guy from the band do you want to date the most?

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  • Lizzie

    Poor Niall.. Ill date you!! I wish I could anyway.. :(

  • harry styles future wife

    harry is mine so back off everybody!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • supergiraffe100

    Larry Stylinson <3!

  • Natalie

    I couldn’t agree more with Harry’s status….

    And as much as I love Lou and El’s relationship… Larry Stylinson is forever <3 xD

  • Victoria

    Deniall= Niall is in denial of dating Demi. Sorry Demi, but Niall is mine. NICTORIA!

  • hayley7


  • nisreen

    who cares i hate when people hater. just because they are a boy band it doesnt mean anything

  • Deska

    Louis Tomlinson <3

  • Chrissy

    that is terrible…1: harry can do whatever he wants, hes harry freaking styles. 2. liam is responsible and thats why he has had his gf for so long and will for even longer, and 3. louis should be able to have a freaking relationship without annoying fans telling eleanor to leave because they think louis and harry are actually in a relationship. smh.

  • lian

    lian, he is a cat, stylish

  • Katy Horan

    Deniall? What the poo. It’s Nemi. Thank you very much. I DO NOT SHIP THEM

  • maria

    fuck that girl who is dating liam

    • Chrissy

      that is terrible. she makes him happy.

    • Ronnie

      i agree with Chrissy , she makes him happy and they are a very good couple so stop saying things like that when your just jealous thanks

    • Ronnie

      oh and do you call yourself a fan coz if you do than thats bullshit your more like a directionator to me and everyone else who read your comment

    • Mrs. Styles

      Okay, really? First of all, your just jealous that you’re not with him. Second, Danielle makes Liam really happy, and they’ve already moved in together. Third, Liam gets really mad when people hate on his girlfriend. How would you feel if the person you’re with gets hate because you’re famous and someone’s jealous. You’d feel bad right? Exactly. If you’re jealous, keep it to yourself when you’re at home alone thinking about how you’ll never find someone as caring as Liam. K bye.

  • maria

    i love liam payne

  • Me

    larry stylinson is not real.. get over your selves

    • Lizzie

      Too True my friend

  • xxooxx

    Its not Denialll its Nemi!

  • Shelby

    This is so freaking funny! :) I love them but Louis is hilarious! only he would put in a civil union!
    and niall isn’t dating Demi Yet but it will be cute. Zayn burns me up! :) and I love liam and his girl. Harry is just sad :(

  • Ratchet

    Harry doesn’t count cause hes a slut

    • Ericka

      That’s bullshit! He is not a slut!!!!!!

    • Natalie

      Harry freaking Styles is NOT a slut. Just because he’s attracted to older women, and gets attention from them doesn’t make him a slut.

    • gabby

      Yhea i can see whyy your name is Ratchet

  • Kat Horan

    LARRY STYLINSON FOREVER!!!!!! <3 ahahaha

  • Emma

    Avril Lavigne never goes out of date.

  • maiyse

    you guys are PATHETIC
    stop posting stuff about 1D coz you are not directioners you are directionators

  • mikyle

    LOL!! all of them are in a relationship while Niall…well maybe I should say hes sort of..haha!! i think seeing them happy makes me smile as a fan… :)

  • Leilane

    Oh God, I totally agree with Louis status, I f *** love Larry FOREVER. So please Eleanor, Louis belongs to Harry and us, directioners, sorry honey!

  • Anisha

    that whole “Zayn and Perrie” dating is a publicity stunt… it’s so obvious to everyone who actually pays attention.

  • Mrs.OneDirection

    Eleanor and Louis are sooo cute! Liam and Danielle need to get married like now! Zayn and Perrie are just made for each other! Harry is like a little teddy bear!! Oh and Niall isn’t single!He just happens to be dating me! we have been going strong for 2 months now! Sorry ladies!

    • Ratchet

      Harry also gets with 32 year old married women so I don’t think he’s exactly a “little teddy bear”

    • harry styles future wife

      i don’t like you