Facebook relationship statuses were made for nosy people. And by “nosy people,” we mean everybody. Is there anything more universally horrifying/awesome than seeing a person go from “in a relationship” to “single,” or trying to find out what it means when your crush has nothing listed under their relationship status? So much to
gossip talk about! If your newsfeed’s been stale lately, have a bit of fun with the boys you’d really stay “Up All Night” Facebook stalking—the dudes of One Direction. What do we think their relationship statuses would read if they were on our friends lists? Read on and find out!
Niall Horan: Single
Spoiler alert: it turns out that Niall is the only boy in the group we’d classify as single. If you’re looking to pounce, though, don’t get your hopes up. He’s engaged in a serious flirtation with Demi Lovato, and we’re totes rooting for Deniall (um, you heard that name here first at Teen.com!), but Niall still wouldn’t list himself as anything more than single. Because even if Demi and Niall are seeing each other, they certainly haven’t reached the level of seriousness or intensity to be Facebook official. You know the drill. FB official = basically married.
Zayn Malik: In a relationship
It’s safe to say that Zayn and girlfriend Perrie Edwards have no problems going public. (Have you seen their public snog PDA pics?) On Facebook, they would be solidly in a relationship, with all the nauseatingly adorable photos to prove it. Cute or excessive? You decide.
Harry Styles: It’s Complicated
Teenage girls everywhere shed a tear upon discovering that Harry Styles likes women the way he probably likes the wine he can’t have in this country: aged. But that’s not what makes him worthy of the ultimate ambiguous relationship status—it’s his maybe-affair with a much-older, married DJ. Why’d ya have to go and make things so complicated, Harry? Call us when you change your status to “single” and don’t make us feel like singing outdated Avril Lavigne songs.
Liam Payne: In a domestic partnership
Unless he’s hiding something from us, Liam would not select the “engaged” or “married” options on his Facebook page. But since he’s living with his girlfriend Danielle Peazer and they’ve been dating
forever since 2010, they deserve a FB status one up from “in a relationship.” It’s lasting love when you can see someone flossing their teeth on a daily basis and still want to date them.
Louis Tomlinson: In a civil union
Louis has a gorgeous and devoted girlfriend, who he’s been seeing since last fall, but it’s his epic bromance with Harry Styles that would actually warrant a mention on Facebook. Sorry, but that is the real thing. Eleanor Calder, we love you, but please step aside. LOUIS + HARRY 4EVA!!!
Do you agree with our breakdown of 1D’s relationship statuses? Which guy from the band do you want to date the most?