Hang on a sec as we’re still processing the most emotional episode of Glee ever. Ryan Murphy and co. weren’t kidding when they titled it “The Break Up” because every single couple was in jeopardy last night. And since it was so powerful, rather than focus on the ridiculous storylines of the evening (like how everyone experienced relationship dramz at the same time), we’d rather talk about each of the individual duos, then have you tell us who had the worst outcome. K? K. Get ready to break out those tissues (again)…
1. Finn & Rachel. They kind of broke up at the end of Season 3, but Rachel was still holding out hope for her first love… at least for the first two and a half episodes of S4. Unfortunately, Finn shows up in New York (after shooting himself in the thigh and getting discharged from the army) about a minute too late, so Rachel kisses Brody! (You all remember what happened the last time Rachel smooched another guy :cough: Puck :cough:, right?) At the end, they both are back at McKinley and break up on stage on the very spot they shared their first kiss. RIP Finchel!
2. Blaine & Kurt. For the past few weeks, we’ve totally been on Team Blaine while Kurt was living out his dream at Vogue.com and ignoring Blaine. But then the former Warbler reveals the most shocking news of all: He cheated on Kurt! Some guy named Eli had been sexting him, and eventually they hooked up. Though the fate of Klaine isn’t completely discussed, one can only assume that they’re not gonna be as much of a ‘teenage dream’ anymore.
3. Brittany & Santana. Ugh! Santana just came back to the show (not including the one Skype scene during “Britney 2.0″) and she flat out splits with Britt. She says she’ll always love her, but admits that she engaged in a mini flirtation in college and realizes LDRs (long-distance relationship, FYI) rarely work out because both sides don’t get what they need. So, at least for now, Brittana is dunzo.
4. Will & Emma. Compared to the previously mentioned twosomes, this drama was kinda meh. To sum it up, Will accepts a position on the Blue Ribbon panel to improve arts education (or something along those lines) in Washington, D.C. and expects Emma to take sabbatical and join him for the ride. She says no. But they didn’t call off the wedding or anything. All that stuff is just kinda left up in the air…
5. Jake & Kitty. We barely had the chance to decide whether we liked them as a couple (though we were leaning toward ‘hell no’) and then Jake calls it quits because Kitty was mean to Marley. (P.S. What was up with that whole religious/fake rapture scene? Freaky.)
Oh, and because our heart is still breaking over it, watch Klaine and Finchel sing No Doubt‘s “Don’t Speak” (a.k.a. the best break-up performance of all time) here: