Before we really delve into quite possibly the… silliest episode of Glee to date, “Dynamic Duets,” we want to quickly let you in on all of the New Directions members’ alternate identities (yes, you read that correctly), so you can keep up. Roll call! Blaine is Night Bird, Brittany is the Human Brain (ha!), Sam is Blond Chameleon, Tina is Asian Persuasion, Artie is Dr. Y (like X-Men‘s Professor X minus the copyright infringement), Joe is Tarantula Head, Sugar is Sweet and Spicy, Jake and Ryder were both Mega Stud, Marley was Wall Flower (turned Woman Fierce), Kitty was Femme Fatale and Finn was The Almighty Treble Clef. Okay, now to talk plot. Join us as we go into the nights biggest moments, then make sure to join the conversation on our Glee message board!
Ryder and Jake fight for Marley’s affection. Finn pairs the two Mega Studs up as part of his “Dynamic Duets” lesson, but of course they take the Clark Kent-like costumes and “Superman” song a little too seriously and begin to throw punches a la the Man of Steel. Then Finn tells each of them to reveal his ‘kryptonite’ (a.k.a. weakness in superhero terms) to the other. Jake’s: Because he’s half-Black, half-White, half-Jewish, he’s never felt like he fit in. With any group. Ryder’s: He’s dyslexic. Only he didn’t know it until Jake spills his secret to Finn who gets him the help he needs. So now they’re bros all of a sudden.
Oh, and as for Marley. Ryder has to prep for his new tutor, so he blows his date with Marley off. Puck (like, the real Puck, Noah) offers Jake some brotherly advice; play it cool and basically don’t hurt Ryder. But then Marley asks Jake to hang out when Ryder cancels… so that plan is ruined.
Kitty plays nice with Marley… except the audience knows the truth. Since Femme Fatale and Woman Fierce are “friends,” she continuously encourages WF to throw up all of her meals because it’ll supposedly help her feel more confident and look good. Though we’re not sure of the Cheerio’s end goal (and totally despise her), we will say one thing: Their “Holding Out for a Hero” duet was pretty dynamic. There, we said it.
Blaine and Sam turn up the bromance. As if you could ever forget, Blaine cheated on Kurt. But the extent of the cheating was never talked about… until last night, where Blaine confesses the dirty deed to Sam and we see a flashback of him pulling his shirt on with a blurred-out face guy behind him. Yikes. Blaine admits that he realized his mistake right after, and everything — especially McKinley — reminds him of his long-lost love. But then Sam persuades him to sing David Bowie‘s “Heroes” with him, and it seems like Blaine’s satisfied with his life for the time being. (Psst, for all you Klaine lovers out there, there may still be hope.)
The Warblers try to convince Blaine to join the ‘dark side’ and return to Dalton. Though there was no duet involved, this is a pivotal part of the episode. After this guy steals New Directions’ championship trophy, Night Bird heads to his former academy to bring it back. But Sebastian and the new captain of the Warblers persuade him to try on his old blazer, sing Kelly Clarkson‘s “Dark Side” (which was totally awesome. We miss the Warblers!) and prepare to welcome him back into the group. We all know how that turns out, though: The whole Blaine-Sam bromance was activated, so instead of transferring, Blaine leaves his blazer at Dalton and the two steal back the trophy. The end… for now.