’tis the season for tights and leggings (as if there’s ever a season where you can’t wear ‘em). With all the prints and patterns out there, how could you go wrong? (Hold up, there’s actually an answer for that.) If you’re looking for cute printed tights, beauty guru Miss Glamorazzi has you covered. But these tights and legging are a little, ahem, off the beaten path…
“Help, I’m Meeelting!” Tights
When you have acid green goo leaking out from underneath your shorts, you can’t help but look like you just came off an old-school Nickelodeon sliming. Or like you’re meeeeelting (which actually might be preferable in this winter weather).
“Buns of Steel” Tights
You know, these are probably great for anatomy class.
They are also really great for freaking us out.
“Sneaker or Legging?” Leggings
In some instances, two is not better than one. This merging of sneaker and legging just seems uncomfortable. How in the world do you put them on/take them off/go to the bathroom? Hopefully they come with an instruction manual.
“There’s a Growth on Your Knees” Leggings
Fishnets don’t need to re-purposed into knee-pad floor cleaners. Just a thought.
“MC Hammer but Worse” Leggings
Drop-crotch pants are always questionable, but the Spandex material and funky patterns isn’t helping things. On the bright side, with these leggings, you probably wouldn’t even need to bring a bag to school. You could literally just stuff your lunch, your books, your notes, etc. into your pants… though you might garner more than a few strange looks when you try to take anything out.
“No, These Aren’t Real Bugs” Tights
Okay, these could totally look sweet on the right person during Halloween, but otherwise, they look like ants are crawling up your legs. You’re a stronger person than us if you don’t shudder at the thought of that.
“Random Dude Crawling Up My Leg” Tights
These may seem kind of cute, but when you think about it, the image is a little less so. Random dude crawling up your skirt? No thanks.
“Now There are Growths on Your Legs Too!” Tights
Pretty sure these belong on a cruise ship, somewhere. While singing and dancing, they must provide the perfect level of gaudy whimsy. Or at least provide some aquatic advantage while swimming in the deep — from either the ruffles or the shimmer, we’re not really sure.