Nicholas Hoult wasn’t Jennifer Lawrence‘s only date to the 86th Annual Academy Awards. Two days after the 2014 Oscars, the 23-year-old actress’ best friend, model Laura Simpson, who just so happened to be J.Law’s other date (and the one she grabbed onto on the red carpet re: above), penned a tell-all essay about her experience at the biggest show of the year, and it was EVERYTHING we all could’ve ever asked for.
Just like any other ‘regular’ who’s invited to the ceremony, she explains of her composure the day leading up to the event, “Like a 13-year-old girl at her birthday party, I had a complete meltdown.” But that’s not even the only way she proved herself to be just as likable as her megastar bestie. Here are 10 other ways Laura Simpson is exactly like your best friend (or, at least the one you WISH you had):
She understands her fashion references.
"The day before the Oscars, I had a fitting with Dior where I got to try on some beautiful dresses. I was between two dresses: the Carrie Bradshaw all-you-can-eat dress and the Angelina Jolie sexy leg kimono. I really wasn't sure if I would ever get back to the Oscars so I let my inner Carrie Bradshaw take over and went with the dress with eight pounds of tulle."
Hello, she loves FRIENDS!
"I met [Jennifer] seven years ago at an event where we both didn't know a single person. We hit it off over a mutual respect for Chandler Bing, and we've been eating pizza together ever since."
Photo: Warner Bros.
She's supportive — even when she doesn't plan it.
"We finally arrive at the red carpet and as we exit the car, my date eats s*** and uses my freshly done Lauren Conrad up do to break her fall. The crowd goes wild."
She knows beauty when she sees it.
"We finally make it to the end of the carpet and I decide to use the restroom before I sit. Jessica Biel holds the door open for me and compliments my dress — no human being should be allowed to have her face and body."
Food is also her best friend.
"The Academy really needs to spring for more hors d'oeuvres options."
Internal fangirling may commence.
"Some guy picks up my purse that had fallen off my seat and I say 'Thank you... Channing Tatum' and my dress gets caught on Jennifer Garner and we awkwardly laugh and someone tries to separate us. The lovely pregnant Kerry Washington asks me if she could have the Slim Jim in my purse."
When given the chance, she sniffed Brad Pitt.
"Brad Pitt smells amazing, like nothing I've ever smelled. Eventually we ask what cologne he's wearing and he tells us, 'I don't wear cologne, it's just my musk I guess.' I have to choose not to believe him because it would just be unfair to mankind."
"Brad Pitt: WTF dude you should bottle that smell and sell it… to me, exclusively."
The power of Bill Murray is not lost on her.
"I get tired of this and decide to follow Bill Murray around the party. At one point he looks in my direction and winks at me while dancing to "If You Want My Body and You Think I'm Sexy" by Rod Stewart — a moment, I now realize, my whole life had been leading up to."
Rachel Zoe is the be-all and end-all in her opinion.
"Before I leave, Rachel Zoe grabs my arm and tells me I look "mage" (if you don't know her lingo, that's short for major and the highest compliment you can receive). At that point I realize my night is not going to get any better so we decide to end the night before we all get sloppy and sweat off our makeup."
She appreciates the finer things.
"MOST BEAUTIFUL: Jared Leto's hair. WHO IS YOUR COLORIST????"