Move it, Football Head! That one line alone fills us with so much nostalgia for ’90s Nickelodeon that we want to Netflix every single episode of Hey Arnold! rightthissecond. Helga is basically our spirit animal and Arnold has equipped us with enough knowledge about life to get us through even the toughest of times.
Though these fan theories threw us for the biggest loop, we can assure you that these inappropriate jokes found on some episodes of the show are about to freak you out even more. We didn’t notice them when we were younger, but the double-meanings from some of these conversations and episode clips are almost too hard to ignore now.
1. Helga Pataki’s undying love for Arnold gets a little out of hand. And makes her girlhood tremble, apparently.
2. Chloe being super suggestive. Chloe also used Gerald to get to his older brother, Jamie O.
3. Oskar pets the kitty. We see what you did there, Nickelodeon.
4. Arnold has a mega crush on his substitute teacher, Miss Felter. Felter. Felt-er. Felt-her.
5. There are so many things we love about Grandpa. His face is not one of them. (Take a closer look…)
6. Arnold was spotted totally picking up this lady at the pool. You’re supposed to be 9 years old. What is happening?
7. Helga kissing this bubblegum shrine of Arnold she keeps in her room. She probably practices her smooch every night and that weirds us out a little bit.
8. Arnold doing we-have-no-idea in a taxi. The banana suit just adds insult to injury.
9. Arnold was asked to have a threesome in so many words. Okay, Lila Sawyer didn’t mean it like that, but still. The exact exchange between Arnold, Lila and Gerald’s little sister, Timberly is:
Timberly: “You wanna come, too?”
Lila: “I’m sure that I’d love to. That is, if Arnold doesn’t mind making it a threesome.”
Arnold: “Uh, no. It’s okay. We can call go together.”
10. Helga’s new look is interesting. We are wondering who her inspiration was.
11. Arnold pulling Eugene in for a hug from behind. Or Arnold is just giving Eugene the Heimlich.
12. That time Grandpa went on a date with not one, but two sixth grade girls. An 81-year-old “sneaking into” a PG-13 movie with two sixth graders? Kinda weird.
13. For a 9-year-old girl, Helga daydreamed about kissing Arnold a lot. #notokay
14. Curly just wants some sugar from Rhonda. We don’t blame Rhonda’s reaction for this one.
15. Grandpa saying he has lost most of his brain cells at Woodstock made kids wonder what Woodstock actually was. But now we know.
16. Arnold and Ernie’s “reach and pull” conversation. Ernie was referring to the levers on a wrecking ball machine and how to make them work, but come on!