— NerdBits (@_NerdBits_) February 2, 2017
At this point, I think it is pretty clear that the Disney corporation, as a massive, all-encompassing entity, is never going to go away. You’ve got the original movies. The reboots. The theme parks. And, of course, there is the merch — if you want to make sure that a product of yours sells, all you have to do, as far as I can tell, is slap a Disney logo on it. It doesn’t matter if it makes sense, contextually, or if it is even technically legal — with that Disney logo, you’re all but guaranteed that a certain sect of people (you know, the people who loved Disney so much as a child that, as adults, they feel compelled to use the Disney parks as locations for all their major milestones, such as weddings and the ritual spreading of measles) will snap it right up.
I am mostly ambivalent about the overwhelming prevalence of Disney products today. I am all for letting people enjoy things, of course, and I do recognize that with late-stage capitalism also comes a few inevitable moral stains on society that manifest themselves in the form of useless tchotchkes. But there are only so many useless tchotchkes that one can endure before reaching a breaking point.
And, as it turns out, my breaking point happens to be Beauty and the Beast. (Not many people know this, but they are doing a live-action reboot of the original movie. No one in particular is starring it.) Some of it is good! But most of it, however, is bad. Who knew that turning a profit off of a bestiality-tinged Disney movie would be hard? So, check out the worst Beauty and the Beast-themed products that have ever been created (but are still probably going to sell out):