Popular Beauty Guru Took a Break from YouTube Amid Depression Battle

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A week ago, Bella Thorne revealed her belief that she struggles with depression. She deleted it soon after, though, ’cause fans didn’t seem to like that she “came to the conclusion” all by herself. No doctors or tests — it was pure self-diagnosis. Now, it appears that yet another female star is doing the same, but she’s standing by her comments. And that star is Michelle Phan.

You may’ve noticed that the 30-year-old beauty guru took a break… for a year! “I completely disappeared,” she said in a new interview with Racked. “I just left. I stopped uploading to YouTube.”

“I peaced out because I think I was going through depression,” she explained. “I don’t know because I didn’t go to a hospital or anything or get diagnosed, but I was taking a few quizzes online and I felt really sad every day.”

“I was waking up feeling so broken,” she added. “I didn’t know why.”

While some aren’t exactly pleased with her methods of diagnosis — online quizzes — she’s sticking to her guns on this, tweeting the following after the interview was released:



Racked speculates that MP’s feelings had to do with the cosmetic line Em, which was a collaboration with L’Oreal. She “put three years of her heart into [it and] it did not take off, and [it] was even criticized for being too expensive and off-based for her fandom.”

Still, despite Michelle’s hiatus, she maintains a high status on the video platform, still holding the #2 spot on Forbes‘ new list of most influential beauty bloggers. (Zoe Sugg (a.k.a. Zoella) clinched the top spot.)
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Like Michelle Phan, these stars also claim they struggle with depression:


Miley Cyrus

When Miley surprised an Elle reporter after admitting that she struggles with depression, it caused the "Wrecking Ball" singer to open up about the stigma of the mental illness.

"It's more of an issue than people really want to talk about," she revealed. "Because people don't know how to talk about being depressed -- that it's totally okay to feel sad. I went through a time where I was really depressed. Like, I locked myself in my room and my dad had to break my door down. It was a lot to do with, like, I had really bad skin, and I felt really bullied because of that. But I never was depressed because of the way someone else made me feel, I just was depressed."

The singer then continued, "and every person can benefit from talking to somebody. I'm the most anti-medication person, but some people need medicine, and there was a time where I needed some too. So many people look at [my depression] as me being ungrateful, but that is not it -- I can't help it. There's not much that I'm closed off about, and the universe gave me all that so I could help people feel like they don't have to be something they're not or feel like they have to fake happy. There's nothing worse than being fake happy."

Photo: Getty

Nicki Minaj

Nicki is known for being a strong, powerful female in a male-dominated industry. But while she alludes confidence to her millions of viewers, she told Cosmo in 2011 that she found herself in a dark place a few years before her career picked up because she "kept having doors slammed in [her] face... [and] nothing was working." Even though she acknowledged the depression she once faced, the "Anaconda" rapper continued that her life is good and she's happier than ever before.

Photo: Getty

Ellen Degeneres

When the mega-funny Ellen came out as gay in 1997, the media was not as accepting as she hoped. About a year later, ABC cancelled her television sitcom, Ellen, as a result of a decline in ratings. It was this series of events that caused the most loved woman in Hollywood to go into a deep depression. "When I walked out of the studio after five years of working so hard, knowing I had been treated so disrespectfully for no other reason than I was gay, I just went into this deep, deep depression," she told the Los Angeles Times magazine. Even though "everything that [she] ever feared" happened to her, she vowed that she would overcome the hardship and is now on top of the world.

Photo: Getty

Beyonce

2000 was the year Destiny's Child released The Writing’s On The Wall, won their first Grammy and saw Beyonce through a deep bout of depression.

"I didn't eat," she told Parade magazine. "I stayed in my room. I was in a really bad place in life, going through that lonely period: 'Who am I? Who are my friends?' My life changed."

Photo: Getty

J.K. Rowling

J.K. has been open about she dealt with clinical depression as she penned the first Harry Potter novel, but, as it turns out, the most difficult time in her life came at the high point of the book's success.

"You don’t expect the kind of problems that [fame] brings with it," she told The Guardian. "I felt that I had to solve everyone’s problems. I was hit by this tsunami of demands. I felt overwhelmed. And I was really worried that I would mess up. Everything changed so rapidly, so strangely. I knew no one who’d ever been in the public eye. I didn’t know anyone -- anyone -- to whom I could turn and say, 'What do you do?' So it was incredibly disorientating."

Ms. Rowling continued that she turned to therapy, which "really helped," as it had done the first time she faced depression.

Photo: Getty

Lady Gaga

Lady Gaga's rise to fame happened in 2008 with her song "Just Dance," but her while she had it all on the outside, she was struggling severely in the years that followed. In a candid interview with Harper's Bazaar, Gaga explained her journey with depression.

I became very depressed at the end of 2013," she said. "I was exhausted fighting people off. I couldn't even feel my own heartbeat. I was angry, cynical, and had this deep sadness like an anchor dragging everywhere I go. I just didn't feel like fighting anymore. I didn't feel like standing up for myself one more time -- to one more person who lied to me. But January 1, I woke up, started crying again, and I looked in the mirror and said, 'I know you don't want to fight. I know you think you can't, but you've done this before. I know it hurts, but you won't survive this depression.' I really felt like I was dying -- my light completely out. I said to myself, 'Whatever is left in there, even just one light molecule, you will find it and make it multiply. You have to for you. You have to for your music. You have to for your fans and your family.' Depression doesn't take away your talents -- it just makes them harder to find. But I always find it. I learned that my sadness never destroyed what was great about me. You just have to go back to that greatness, find that one little light that's left. I'm lucky I found one little glimmer stored away."

Photo: Getty

Ashley Judd

After growing up in the spotlight, Ashley felt it was time to face her demons in February of 2006 when she checked into a 47-day program at a Texas treatment center. She told Glamour, "I needed help. I was in so much pain."

Photo: Getty

Anne Hathaway

Before she became the Princess of Genovia in The Princess Diaries, the actress suffered from depression throughout her teenage years, but refused help or medication. Looking back, Anne says, "I said to Mom the other day, 'Do you remember that girl? She has now gone, gone to sleep. She has said her piece and she is gone. But then I thought, 'I so remember her, only she is no longer part of me.' I am sorry she was hurting for so long. It's all so negatively narcissistic to be so consumed with self."

Photo: Getty

Angelina Jolie

According to Angie, she had suffered from depression throughout her teens and early 20s, but it was the death of her mother in 2007 that sent her into a severely dark place.

"My mother had just passed away, and I wanted to do something physical to get it out of my head for a while," she told Contact Music in 2008. "I felt I was going into a very dark place, and I wasn't capable of getting up in the morning, so I signed up for something [the movie thriller, Wanted] that would force me to be active."

Photo: Getty

Brittany Snow

At the young age of 12, Brittany got a gig on Guiding Light. It was from that point on that she began to obsess over her weight and developed an eating disorder. She weighed only 85 pounds at her homecoming in 2000. Flash forward two years later, and Britt moved to LA, weighed 100 pounds, and began to self-harm as a result of her weight gain. She told People that she became severely depressed when she stopped hearing, 'gosh, you've lost so much weight!' and cut to cope. When she turned 19, she checked into a hospital for depression, cutting and an eating disorder. The actress credits Sophia Bush and Arielle Kebbel, her John Tucker Must Die co-stars for helping her stay on the path to recovery so soon after getting out of treatment.

Photo: Getty

Mandy Moore

Around the time Mandy and her then-boyfriend Zach Braff split, the Tangled star said told Jane magazine she "felt really low, really sad [and] depressed for no reason." While some people thought she was just distraught over the breakup, Mandy said it only "added to what [she] was going through" instead of causing it.

Photo: Getty

You can reach this post’s author, Kaitlin Cubria, on Twitter and Instagram!

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